Falling out of the bunk bed

When I was a kid, I thought being married would be the greatest thing in the world. Why? Because when you get married, you get to pick out the beds. And I wanted to sleep on a top bunk for once.

Of course, my mother threw water all over it, as mothers are prone to do to six-year-old's dreams.

"When you get married, you sleep in the same bed," Mom told me matter-of-factly. It was a sad realization, that I would never get a bunk bed in my life. But apparently, not all kids dream big like I did. When my nephew Brent got bunk beds at my Mom's, he was terrified of the top bunk. Kept thinking he would roll off the side.

Strangely enough, Brent's fear mirrors a fear that I have in marriage, which takes place in 48 days. What if I metaphorically roll out of the marriage bed? Meaning what if I screw something up without even trying?

I realize that not ever marriage is perfect, and that both partners will make mistakes. But I always want things to be perfect, things to be their absolute best. Failure, of even the slightest instance, is unacceptable. Perhaps I demand too much of myself, worrying about mistakes made years down an imaginary road. But after seeing so many marriages fall apart for stupid reasons, reasons that could have been prevented had one person used their brain, am I really that out-of-line for wanting to succeed at all costs?

My father and mother were divorced before I turned 15. Which is a tragedy, yes, but a common tragedy nonetheless. I'm sure that when they got married, they didn't think the marriage would be over in 18 years (which turned out well in the end, as both are remarried and living happily, fyi). So on one level, I'd be naive to think that the marriage I'll have with Allicia won't be tested, pushed to the brink where both of us are pulling out our hair in frustration with each other.

But we won't become one of those divorced couples. We will stay strong. Through the thickest of troubles, I promise that I'll be writing about the happy and sad moments we'll both share for decades to come.

We won't fall off that top bunk.