Burning popcorn: A mortal sin

No, I wasn't responsible for this. But today at work, someone burnt their popcorn, and slipped away into the fluorescent light, not claiming responsibility for the crime they committed.

I can't think of anything that will unite an office more than the anger directed towards the one who burns popcorn. And why not? Burning popcorn in a public setting is a sign of the lowest form of competence (in your home, your free to do whatever). First, it requires you to disavow all knowledge of a microwave. Most of them have a popcorn button that makes it easy to pop your corn. Unfold the bag, put it in, hit the popcorn setting, and wait patiently.

I think the problem stems from one of two things. One, the person is using one of those mini bags of popcorn, and pressing popcorn just like they would a normal size bag (then watching in horror as their snack goes up in flames). Or, as I really suspect, they walk off and leave it for a few minutes, and it gets done a little early.

Really? You are so incompetent that you are going to walk away from your corn, knowing the disastrous effects that overheating paper can cause. There's a reason why the bag says never pop unattended.

Because if you do, you'll have a floor full of people ready to make sure that you'll never leave the building alive. I know that myself and all the ladies I work at were furious. Heck I even printed off this story  and taped it to the wall by the microwave as an ominous warning in case that person had the guts and came back alive.

Please, out of courtesy to your co-workers, DON'T walk away while your cooking popcorn. Doing so is a guarantee that for the rest of your days, you'll be nothing more than a bad human being.